Personally, you'd get more points from me for if you can quote James Baldwin or if you're knowledgeable about or genuinely interested in learning about my culture beyond popular trends and stereotypes. Johnson wrote for Everyday Feminism: part of Black culture, that has to include learning about the history of what you’re appreciating and about the struggles and achievements of the people you’re borrowing from.

Then you’ll be the kind of ally who’s informed enough to honor our culture in a way that supports us — instead of just taking what you like and hurting our community.

It's becoming rare to see the reverse." This all started because I was referencing a conversation we'd had when I was pregnant with our son. You wouldn't want him to have coarse hair if you could help it. If you think I'm wrong, listen to your music and get back to me.

My boyfriend had said lightheartedly, "I hope our son has my hair." My boyfriend has beautiful, soft curls, a genetic gift from both his races. It would be easier to manage if his hair was curly was all I'm saying." The rational part of me thought about what he was trying to say, but no matter how much I replayed it, it still didn't sound right to me. Everywhere from pop culture to the hood, men are either consciously or subconsciously telling black women they aren't "wanted." I have seen black man not even look twice at black women whom I see as beautiful, yet I've seen them break their necks for decent-looking -- dare I say unattractive -- women of other races. Granted, I think everyone is entitled to a personal preference regarding whom they like.

Money quote: The researchers found that most women speed daters said yes (meaning they’d like to see a man again after the four-minute speed date) less often to men of another race than they did to men of their own race.Since many young people lack experience dating a person from another racial group, that provides fertile ground for stereotypes to persist.In my own life, I've encountered my share of dating myths about Black men; here are a few that make interracial dating challenging: Dating a Black guy is not some silver bullet against being racist.Racism is a beast whose tentacles touch everything, from public policy and interpersonal interactions to academia and the Academy Awards.People interact with that monster in various ways, including ways that reinforce white supremacy. My boyfriend and I were having a conversation about black men vs. (He is black and Puerto Rican.) It started getting intense, and I said, "You don't get it! Even on social media, my heart will sink as I see black women I've known from high school or elementary school now say they're "black and Filipino," "black and Puerto Rican," "black and [whatever race]" -- just don't say you're fully black! I don't mean races felt this way about black women, but the fact that my own men do has made me consider turning my back on them multiple times. It would be one thing if it were true love, but some are just doing it because they see it as a prize. For some reason they think only black women wear extensions.