And if more than a few of those decisions turned out to be less than wise in hindsight, then congratulations: You’re not a robot.
(Let’s discuss that e-mail you sent your ex after two glasses of wine another time.)How do we avoid making choices that invite regret, resentment, or erode our well-being?
Our instincts aren’t always on target, but if you’ve got a funny feeling about a request someone’s made or the risks inherent in embracing a new opportunity, process these feelings before proceeding, says Chloe Carmichael, Ph. “We’re less likely to feel secure with our choices when we haven’t resolved our own internal conflicts about them.”Carmichael recommends making a pro and con list about big decisions (think: Should I leave this job or relationship? Tuning into—and accepting—hard-to-feel emotions like anxiety or dread also helps us feel more grounded, an essential component of making wise choices wherever you are in your life. It’s another to let them steer the course of important decisions in your life, says counselor and couples therapist Melody Li, LMFTA.
When we’re riled up by anger, anxiety, and other intense emotions, we’re more likely to hit “send” when we shouldn’t, give in to immediate gratification, or shun people and situations we would be better off embracing simply because we perceive them as threats.
Though there’s no surefire way to never make a mistake, paying attention to signs we’re en route to bad decisions can help us switch course before it’s too late. This can help us get in touch with our fears about what’s in store for us and assess whether the threats we perceive are actually realistic (this worksheet can help too).
Be prepared to step back if you encounter these six major red flags. No matter how overblown our apprehensions (your boss might not have it in for you after all, nor might your S. be cheating), clarifying them helps clue us into who we are and what we need, Carmichael says.
No matter how hard we try to be good, or smart, or rational, we’re going to do stuff we regret later.
If we’re lucky, the consequences of our actions won’t be devastating to our lives and the lives of others.
)Though emotional reactions are designed to keep us from danger (e.g., jumping out of an oncoming vehicle’s path rather than pausing mid-crosswalk) we’re better off cooling down before making longer-term commitments or choices that impact important relationships, Li says.These are the 22 signs that you did in fact make the right choice to end things — read 'em and rest a little bit easier, then start making moves to move on!Understanding Your Partner Solidifying the Relationship Community Q&A Dating a bisexual can be a really intimidating thing. Will they eventually leave you when the realize what they actually want? Dating a bisexual can be just like dating a Catholic, a race car driver, or a brunette. Read on to put your concerns away and relax in your relationship.I’m a dating coach and many of my clients ask for help with online dating.One guy told me a story about a girl he met on Tinder. They seemed really happy and texted morning, noon, and night for about two weeks. However, by the third week, her texts slowed down and he felt something was off.Some of these choices have larger consequences than others.For starters: Who we choose to surround ourselves with, where we live, and what career we pursue can have a huge impact on our health and happiness.